Married to the Minister

Beautiful

2009-03-03T18:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that beauty is one of the most misunderstood qualities.

Today, I attended a funeral- for a lady who personified what to me is true beauty.

~A kind and gentle spirit~
~A smile in the midst of pain, sadness, and trials~
~A spirit of joy like none other~
~The radiant glow that comes only from knowing and trusting Jesus Christ.~

Beauty is not the make up, the jewelry, the clothes, the image; it is the heart, and only the heart. Without Christ, it is impossible to radiate true beauty and love.

A Different Kind of Mom

2009-02-05T08:03:00.000-08:00

(no, I just have two kids, borrowed my niece here)

I have never tried to convince myself or anyone else that I am the perfect mom; there's no such thing. Lately, I have been finding myself surrounded by a variety of different "mommy types"; I have come to the conclusion that I am nothing like any of them, and I like it that way.

There are those moms who are continuously pushing their children to be in every activity, hoping it will somehow make them more well-rounded individuals, somehow hoping it will in time make them fit in the world better. My daughter dances, not because it was my dream for her, but because she truly wanted to learn to dance. My little boy goes to story time because he likes the library, not because I am looking for a socialization activity for him.

I have also recently encountered a lot of "helicopter" moms- you know the type. I volunteer at school, not so I can be there for my own child, but so I can give other kids a little piece of what it means for someone to care. When I volunteer at school, I am rarely with my own children, and I like it that way.

Then there is just the list of things that I, as a mom, find absolutely necessary, but am in the minority in thinking. How many moms do you know who still:

Insists on a regular bedtime every night, and don't back down?

Thinks homework has to be done before anything else after school?

Gets up and goes to church every Sunday, no matter what?

Understands that everyone needs some time away from their kids? It's OK to get a sitter- who isn't always grandma.

Is not afraid to let their children make mistakes?

Encourages their children to think independently?

So many moms today are trying to be the perfect mom; hoping they are doing good enough. I am a different kind of mom, and always will be, and that's OK.
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What doesn't get reported. . .

2008-06-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

We have just wrapped up the week of Annual Conference at Lakeside, OH. Throughout the week, much gets reported, but sometimes the greatest things don't. So, here is my report on some of the most important things that occurred this week.

My daughter reconnected with her "bestest" friend; attending VBS, flying kites, and otherwise fluttering around as six-year olds do.

My little man (age four) stood proudly on the stage to sing his VBS songs, without a fear in the world.

I reconnected with some of the greatest girls I know. We like to refer to ourselves as the "young" clergy spouses, even though some of us are farther away from young than we would like to be. Our times together this week were precious; walking, sharing, laughing, crying, and of course shopping. I value these ladies greatly; no one else knows the life of the pastor's wife.

We shared a cottage with what's becoming an old friend; but this year we welcomed his new bride. She was the one I had prayed for over the last several years; and although we only began to get to know one another; it was a blessing to be together.

As we gathered for our annual spouses' tea, I was overwhelmed by the company I shared. It wasn't that the bishop's wife was there, or our superintendent's wife. It was because we had a very special guest at our table- Hannah, whose first nine months of life have been a tremendous challenge. For those moments though, she was just "one of the girls".

There are many other moments that didn't make the business sessions, or even the worship services; these only begin to scratch the surface. These moments are special, and it is my hope that these moments are the ones most remembered.

Yard Sale Time!

2008-05-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

The sun is shining, the pollen is flying, and I spent the last two mornings hitting the yard sales. I know it isn't everyones idea of fun, but I love a deal. I don't buy stuff I don't need; it mainly becomes a time to stock up on summer clothes and summer fun for my children. My best find today; a bag of clothes for my nephew for less than a dollar total. Although, in my son's eyes, the best purchase was a Hungary Hippos game. (I had forgotten quite how loud that game was!) That's why I love to good yard sale; you don't feel guilty for putting the game away for a while when you only paid $2 for it!

Tossing Aside the Tract

2008-04-05T07:56:00.001-07:00

Links aren't usually my thing, but this article was really up my alley. It is long, but it says what many are afraid to say about the traditional view of evangelism.

http://www.thejournalofstudentministries.com/articles/90/1/Tossing-Aside-the-Tract/Page1.html

Fulll Moon Rising

2008-03-20T19:22:00.000-07:00

I have never understood the whole theory of how the moon and its phases affects the human body; but after today, I certainly have no doubts that it does.

At our morning trip to the library for Storytime. I watched a child "dance" into the wall repeatedly. Later, I spent some time volunteering at school (which I do every week), I spent so much time correcting kids that I didn't even have enough time to help those who were actually doing what they were supposed to.

Then, it was off to Kids' church this evening. This typically involves a Bible lesson, singing, games, and prizes. Tonight, it included all those things, as well as, two bullying three year olds, a wrestling match under the pew, and several hyper 10 year year olds.

Of course, my own children were affected too, but they seemed minor compared to everyone else I encountered today. All, I can say is that at least now, most all of these children should be home, and hopefully in bed--dreaming of the Easter candy that will be sure to wind them up longer that full moon will shine.

Is it Spring Yet?

2008-03-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

It seems to me that it spring should have already arrived; especially since everything that my mind is trying to process involves summer days:

Planning VBS
Making our plans to attend Annual Conference
Hoping that flooding will not cause the school year to be extended much more
Wondering if there is the possibility of a real family vacation this year
~those of you who know us understand the need to say a "real" vacation

Instead, I am left only to be reminded by my six-going-on-ten year old daughter that spring does not begin until Thursday, and that the Easter bunny can't come until spring does!

Idol Time again

2008-01-15T17:43:00.000-08:00

My television viewing pretty much consists of preschool viewing: Barney, Sesame Street, etc. I also enjoy a good football game. Though, one show our family always enjoys is American Idol- which begins again tonight. What is it we like about it?- I'm not sure, everyone seems to have a different reason. Tonight, as we are watching together; my three year old likes the silly costumes. My six year old likes to choose who is going to Hollywood. My husband and I find amusement and entertainment in many things.

Unfortunately though, we can't even watch Idol without having to censor it. Tonight, we have already muted the TV once, and have flipped the channel once. (all within a half hour) I am not entertained by profanity, sexual innuendo that exceeds all sense of decency, and extreme anger. All I wish, is that these shows which bill themselves as family viewing, would truly be family friendly.

The Only Steeler I'm Cheering for

2008-01-07T18:10:00.001-08:00

I'm an Ohio girl; I cheer for the Browns, even if they didn't make it into the playoffs. But this is one little Steeler that I love. Hannah has been in the hospital since Thanksgiving, in and out of the NICU, on and off a ventilator (several times). Her mommy & daddy have a strong faith and trust in God, though the days have to be wearing on them and each day an effort to get through. Please pray for Hannah and her family.

May this little Steeler find victory.

January Sunshine

2008-01-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

Sometime I enjoy the unexpected things in life- like sunshine and spring temperatures in January, in Ohio. Lots of my other mom friends are discouraged by this; they are complaining that these unseasonable temperatures will keep their children sick, and the ground muddy, etc. As for myself, I am learning to enjoy each day for the blessings it presents. I'll take the sunshine and be happy, and know that God has blessed us with it, and so much else.

Lights!

2007-12-19T11:22:00.000-08:00

I admit, I am a sucker for cool Christmas lights!

Music Box Dancer - Holdman Christmas Display 2007 from Richard Holdman on Vimeo.

Proud Moments

2007-12-17T07:47:00.000-08:00

This weekend was one of many proud moments for me.

I listened to my five year old pray earnestly for the life of baby Hannah (who has been in the NICU for over two weeks).

I took a very snow drive to attend the wedding of a very dear friend, and then watched with joy as my husband performed the ceremony.

My husband took us on an even snowier drive to the reception, and I made it without having an anxiety attack.

I watched as my newly married friend took his first dance steps with his bride.

Upon arriving home, I was told that one of my teens wants to be baptized.

Another of my teens stepped up last night to take the speaking role in our play, when the need arose.

My daughter sang to me her new favorite song, as it is mow appropriate- "All I want for Christmas is my two Front Teeth."

It was a wonderful weekend; one that I will not forget for a long time.

Busy, but grateful

2007-12-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

Dishes overflowing
Laundry everywhere
Church play practice to oversee
Dance class to drive to
Cookies to bake
Christmas cards to write
Calls to make
Bills to pay
A three year old to chase
An out of town wedding to pack for

~And many other things I am sure I forgot! My list seems long, but today I am thankful that I can be a stay at home mom, that my children are well, and that Christ is in the center of my Christmas!

Hannah

2007-12-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

Hannah: A Hebrew name meaning favor or grace

On September 24th, one of our close pastor friends and his wife gave birth to their first child; a beautiful little girl named Hannah. For the last eight weeks, Hannah has suffered much. At this moment, she is spending her ninth straight night in the NICU. The problem is a genetic one. Our pray is that Hannah and her family would have both favor and grace.

A horrible babysitter

2007-11-10T16:31:00.000-08:00

Today I got the opportunity to spend time with our babysitter from our last appointment. She is an exceptional young lady; beautiful inside and out, talented in so many ways, with a heart for God, and a loving heart.~~Nothing like this babysitter!

Sick & Tired

2007-11-04T14:18:00.000-08:00

Everyone in my house, including myself, has had a little flu bug at some point this past week and a half. I am sick and tired of everyone being sick and tired. I will say on the bright side that we have a wonderful congregation who has steps up when there is a need. Today, in my husband's absence, everything went on as normal. We had more difficulties without our tech guy today, than we did without the pastor. We are so blessed to serve here, and I am believing that we will soon all be well.

For every pastor I know & love

2007-11-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

Every pastor (including my husband) who I have ever rode anywhere with has a pack of these in the center console of the vehicle; I am not sure what the attraction is, especially after listening to this guy!

It's Funny, but . .

2007-11-01T17:02:00.000-07:00

Today while I volunteered at school and later from my daughter, I heard about a kindergartner who decided to pack his own lunch box today--with nothing but trick-or-treat candy. He was not discovered until all he had left were wrappers! His punishment, to go get a lunch tray and sit alone at his desk while he ate (as well as the standard reprimand). Now, when I first heard this I laughed! -The things that kids think of!

It's all funny until you think about it. Where was this kid's parents when he got out his lunch box, filled it up, and hopped on the bus with it? Apparently, they were the same place that many parents are today. They may have been present in the home, but their focus elsewhere. It is time for parents to realize that our children are a precious gift, and we get one opportunity to raise them. Raising children is a privilege, in my case, an honor. So often, parents seem to expect the teachers, coaches, scout leaders, etc. to raise their children for them. This is not the role of these leaders; they may contribute to a child's character, but there is no one else who influences a child more than a parent.

Love your children teach them well, and don't forget to check their lunch boxes in the morning!

How did Susanna do it?

2007-10-28T19:38:00.000-07:00

“I am content to fill a little space if God be glorified.” ~Susanna Wesley

I was thinking about this mother of nineteen today; I am sure she only had a "little space" most days! Today, I shared my front seat at church with my own two children (ages 5 and 3), as well as five members of my Sunday School class (ages 11-15), and two other young people (age 10).

My pew was full. My patience was thin. I was glad that each and every one of them was there, but I was exhausted by the time the service ended. Most of these young folks come from homes where church is tolerated, but certainly not part of the norm. They are in church because they want to be. It is my hope that they will grow in their desire for Christ, and that respect will follow; but until then, I pray the church continues to show them love despite their faults.

Only Pray

2007-10-21T15:48:00.000-07:00

Pray for the child whose home is filled with sadness.
Pray for the child who wonders when his daddy is coming home.
Pray for the child who knows Jesus loves him.
Pray for the child who has seen love in a cookie.

Pray for his family whose hearts are broken.
Pray for his family who knows that daddy isn't coming home.
Pray for his family who wonders if anyone loves them.
Pray for his family who I hope saw love in me today.

~Today our little town has suffered loss, and a five year old boy is without a father. May our community be able to show them the Lord's great love. May Jesus shine in all we say and do.~

A new meaning

2007-10-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

For the last fifteen years, Pastor Appreciation Sunday has officially had a place on the calendar. For the last ten years, my husband and I have remembered this Sunday in a variety of ways. Sometimes, we have recalled it by looking at the one card (which was usually from my mother) we had received over the entire course of October. Other times, we have looked at one another and asked "Is this Pastor Appreciation Month?". Now, not everywhere we have served has been this way. Some churches have remembered us with a gift card for a dinner out, or a small monetary gift, and a few kind words.

Though this year, Pastor appreciation takes on a whole new meaning for us. It was a year ago this month that we moved into our current appointment mid-year. We appreciate where we are so greatly. Our congregation is a continual blessing to us- we are grateful for what God has given us. When I mentioned to one of my friends (also a ministry wife) what our congregation was doing this month, she simply said "Oh, our churches totally blow that off."

Now, in case you are wondering what it is so wonderful that is going on here- it is really many little things, maybe they will give you some ideas how you can bless your pastor and his family.
~Many words of thanks, sincere thanks
~Cards, with handwritten notes
~Prayer guides for praying for our spiritual leaders given to congregation
~Laity Sunday being combined with Pastor Appreciation so the pastor truly gets the Sunday off.
~A meal following church where I have been instructed NOT to cook anything.
~A reminder to people show their appreciation this Sunday however they see fit.

It is not for the physical things that I am so thankful, it is for the effort- the effort this church makes every day to let us know we are a part of their community and their lives.

To Gossip or not. . .

2007-10-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

A little lesson on the hazards of gossiping:

Emma, the church gossip, self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and several others that anyone who saw it there would know what he was doing. Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Emma;s house-. . .walked home . . .and left it there all night. You gotta love people like Henry.

Heaven's Gain

2007-10-09T16:25:00.000-07:00

Today Heaven gained a very special lady; a mother and a friend. One of our very closest friends called us this morning to let us know his mother's time on this Earth was limited- to maybe weeks, maybe days. Within hours we were called back with the word that she had already passed into the Lord's presence. In the coming days, those whom our friend calls brothers (his seminary colleagues and other colleagues in ministry) will join together to uphold him. They are a group of friends like no other.

Thank a teacher

2007-10-06T07:12:00.000-07:00

We all know that teachers are on invaluable resource in our society, but sometimes our gratitude falls short of all that a teacher faces on a daily basis.

This week I began to volunteer at school. Here's what I experienced- First, I was introduced to a little girl who was in her second year of kindergarten; she did not recognize nor know how to correctly write several of her letters. While I sat down with this student to give her some one-on-one attention, the rest of the class worked with their teacher. Repeatedly, she told the same two students to sit in their chairs, wait their turn, and be quiet. One of these students was told he didn't need to end up with his head cut open again, as the day before he had ran into a wall.

Following this, it was time for centers- where the children rotate in small groups to various activities. I was there to have a craft. I was sent the teacher's aide for the first group, because one of the boys would not have done anything with out her help. Over the rest of the craft time I met one little boy who continually ridiculed the father of another student, a little girl who due to medical problems had virtually no social interaction until age 5, and a variety of others.

I was the all of ninety minutes. Now, for the record, many wonderful things happened in that hour and a half too. But, all the challenges that one teacher faced in that short time, coupled with the myriad of stories my daughter tells me, reminded me that our teachers deserve more than just an occasional thanks. They need our continual prayers, and our unending gratitude.

Me? A Dance Mom?

2007-10-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, So I am a dance mom now; my five year old is taking ballet. I am not your typical dance mom, though come to think about it, I am not your typical much of anything. Tonight, for the first time, moms were able to come into the end of the dance lesson to watch their little ballerinas show off their newly learned skills. A simple observation, or so I thought. Nothing is simple any more, most of the mothers were eagerly snapping pictures or coaching their little girls along. Meanwhile, I just stood there, holding tightly to my son's hand so he wouldn't decide to join in the dancing. Sometimes I like not being typical, in fact, most of the time, I prefer it.

Tomorrow I begin volunteering at school and I am sure that I will come home once again and give thanks that I am not the typical mother-and I don't have typical kids.

Because I'm the minister's wife. . .

2007-09-09T05:02:00.000-07:00

I will get dressed and look nice even though right now I would rather crawl back under the covers and catch a little more sleep.

I will struggle along as I try to relate to today's teens in my Sunday School class.

I will then later today go to the funeral home to make my appearance with my husband at calling hours for someone I never knew.

I will look at the calendar and wonder how I could possibly fit one more thing on it.

Then I will quit doing that, because every time I wonder how, God always provides.

I will do all this, and probably more--not just because I am the minister's wife, but because God is calling.

Still Crying!

2007-09-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

On her first day of kindergarten, my daughter informed me that one little boy cried because he missed his mommy. I told her that he probably hadn't been away from his mom much, and facing a whole day at school was probably hard for him. She accepted that-until the next day, and the day after that, and the week after that.

Everyday, I ask her if he is doing better. "Well," she begins, "he's OK if he forgets about his mommy for a few minutes, but then he remembers and starts to cry again." I just have such a hard time imagining this. As the pastor's family, my children have went to Sunday School or Children's church, or something since they quite small. Now, understand that I don't like the idea of parents who schedule their children to death, but I just can't imagine a kid who has never been away from mom. Even put aside that we are a ministry family, most kids have had some experience in the "real world"-preschool, a sitter, even grandma's house. Our kids will grow up, and we must rejoice with them as they do.

It is my hope today that when I pick my daughter up, she will look up and say "Guess what mom! He didn't cry today." I do hope so, not just for his sake, but for mine-so I don't have to hear about him giving my daughter a headache anymore!

Kindergarten Moments

2007-08-29T04:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my daughter's first day of kindergarten. A few snippets from her day, and mine.

A goodbye kiss was almost too much to ask.

I didn't cry.-I knew I wouldn't.

My three year old became my shadow.

My little girl was the last one done with lunch-as usual.

The children who got in trouble were of great fascination to my kindergartner, why would anyone disobey she wondered?

She also found out there were "no refills" on afternoon snack.

I found out how much more I can get done around the house without constantly having to break other sibling arguments.

I also found out that those moments of quiet would be over exactly 3.1 seconds after she walked back in the door.

Most of all, we all learned that this is going to be an adjustment for all of us-and we all know how much we all like change.

New Experiences

2007-08-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

"At least she tried it." That's what I keep saying about my daughter's new experience yesterday. On an invitation from a family in our congregation, we went on a crick hike. For those of you who may live in a different part of the world, that's a creek hike. My daughter is dainty; she likes things pretty, clean, and in order- so this was not her idea of fun. Only because the family assured her we would go swimming afterwards did she even agree to go.

We heard how disgusting it was more than once, and when she told grandma about the experience , she told her that she "hated everything about it, but she did it because we were at someone else's house and they planned on us doing it." As I got thinking about that, I thought that God always has things planned for us, but many times we don't want to follow His plan because it might be icky, or difficult. Though, if we would just try His plan, more than likely, we would find out that God's plan is even better than anything we had in mind.

~~Oh, and by the way, my three year old would go on another crick hike tomorrow-but this time without his sister.

Celebrations & Uncertainty

2007-08-24T19:00:00.001-07:00

Today we journeyed home to celebrate my grandfather's 79th birthday; a moment of mixed emotions. This past June my grandpa underwent emergency surgery for a ruptured aneurysm, a procedure which doctors said he wouldn't probably live to tell about. Well, he did, though tonight when I saw him for the first time since he has been home form the nursing home; I felt saddened. He's lost 30 pounds and none of his stubbornness. As we took a family picture together, the thought crossed my mind wondering if this would be the last birthday we celebrated with him.

On a lighter note, our hour car ride home was a celebration in itself. My three year old had long fell asleep, and my five year old daughter was begging for a bedtime story. Well, considering that I can't read in the dark, my husband and I improvised by telling her a story about our courtship. She thought it was so fun to hear that we spent the rest of the ride telling silly, though sometimes touching, stories about friends and family. The fun we had will make another good story for another good ride home.

So I was wrong. . .

2007-08-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, So I was wrong. After I posted yesterday, I found this great website for pastor's wives. It is called With Purpose. Amy has some really good stuff there, and she makes a very true statement- "I am the pastor's wife and I have issues." It makes me think about what my husband always says when with our other pastor friends-- "A pastor's wife is either called or crazy". Generally he follows that up with "Mine's called, though a bit crazy too. But he is right, I believe that being a pastor's wife is a calling. Why else would anyone want to do do some of the things we do, while all the while smiling?--Crazy, I guess.

Love, Laughs, and Labor

2007-08-22T11:15:00.001-07:00

Being the pastor's wife is full of all three of these things, and pastors' wives need one another's fellowship-- That's why I am starting this blog. I have searched the web and have never seemed to be able to find any good sites for real pastors' wives. You may wonder what I consider a real pastor's wife; a real pastor's wife if not perfect, but loves her husband, her family, the church, and most importantly, the Lord with everything she's got. Many days she finds herself empty, but continues to give.
I hope you will visit my blog as a source of refreshment and encouragement from the stress that ministry can lead to.